Never Again
by A mile in the wrong direction
Summary: A drunken one night stand leads to new feelings neither Izaya nor Shizuo can explain. As Izaya's mind turns to shambles can Shizuo pick up the pieces of the broken informant and put him back together?
1. Never again!

Hi everyone~! (way to sound cheesey) so this is my first _published _M fanfiction. I've had friends read them and be like wow you should post that :O so I thought what the hell why not… I'd love to know how I did so if you would spare a minute to give a review id be so happy ;o; READ ON MAH PERVY FRIENDS :D also I apologize for fail drunken speech. I wouldn't know XD

**Never Again**

Music blared through the speakers, resonating the dance floor. Izaya's head was swimming as he took a sip of his what? 12th drink? He swayed his hips to the beat feeling the music lead him to the center of the floor. He needed this so badly. He wasn't one to get drunk often, let alone drink at all, but it had been a stressful week. Clients were getting more and more greedy and impatient, complaining to him non-stop. He just needed to get out. Relax and have a little fun surrounded by his lovely humans. And that is exactly what he did. Closing his eyes and letting the music move him, he danced. You could feel the heat in the room, bodies grinded and rubbed against each other in a lustful manner, and Izaya was right in the middle, dancing with guys and girls alike, them moving against him and him in return mirroring their movements. He could feel the room spinning and the beat still thumping as he stumbled out the door.

Izaya being drunk by now was an understatement. Going out at this time of night and in this state probably wasn't the the smartest idea but then again, this was Izaya, he could handle it. The cold night air didn't even occur to Izaya, his body still hot from the dancing and the alcohol swirling through his system. He let out a little giggle and tried spinning with glee only to fail and slump against the wall. "FLEA! HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE IN IKEBUKURO!" a loud booming voice shouted, shattering the silence of the night and breaking through Izaya's delirious haze.

"Ish that shizu-chaaaan?" Izaya questioned in a drunken slur. He hiccupped and pushed himself off the wall, squinting at the somewhat blurry figure in front of him. The next thing he knew, he was being pushed back into the wall roughly. A low growl emitted from Shizuo.

"What the fuck are you doing here Izaya-kun?" He said between barred teeth. "You're drunk off your ass, you pathetic flea." Shizuo's nose crinkled, he could smell the alcohol on Izaya's breath. "Disgusting" he sneered.

Izaya seemed unfazed by this and let out another annoying giggle. "Shizu-chan ish shoooo meeean~" he said, leaning in close. "Why can't yo be more nice~!"

"Because I fucking hate you obviously!" dealing with the flea sober was one thing… but drunk like this was a whole new level of annoyance for Shizuo.

"But I dun hate you~" he hiccupped. "S-Shizu-chan ish my favor-favor.. hehe I like shizu-chaaan..~" "ne ne shizu~! Don't yo think you could come to like meh?" Izaya grinned, his eyes hazy and unreadable to Shizuo. He leaned over and nuzzled into the crook of Shizuo's neck. "mmmm~ you smell good…" Izaya said softly as he leaned down and started to nip at the skin.

Shizuo's eyes widened, unsure of what to do. Inner turmoil took over at the realization that the flea was attacking his neck… and he liked it. "Izaya…knock it off…" Shizuo said with a warning growl, trying to push the other away. "The hell do you think you're doing!" Izaya only gave him a tipsy smile in return before leaning up and whispering in his ear…

"You're getting hard~" and to prove it Izaya's hand drifted down, cupping the half hard bulge through the, now horrified bartenders, pants. The color drained from Shizuo's face as he realized the unmistakable feeling of arousal. But for the flea of all people! Why him! Shizuo was at a loss for words. Luckily Izaya didn't seem to mind as he pressed against Shizuo in an erotic way, grinding their half hard erections flush against each other. Izaya let out a mewl of approval, panting softly.

As well as being overworked, Izaya hadn't gotten laid in a long time, what with his busy life style choices. His overly sensitive body mixed with the alcohol was a dangerous combination, making him moan at just the slightest touch. Shizuo groaned unwillingly at the sensation. What once was small panting led to shameless moans on Izaya's part. Shizuo felt his resistance start to crumble. The pleasurable warmth spreading through him was making it hard to think past the throbbing in his groin. "Shi-Shizu~ nngh~" Izaya whimpered, the last of Shizuo's control slipping away. He roughly grabbed Izaya by the hair, pulling him up to his face, and then smashing their lips together in a bruising kiss. Izaya gasped, surprised but Shizuo's sudden compliance, causing his mouth to open. Shizuo took advantage of this and thrust his tongue inside Izaya's warm cavern. Their tongues twirled around each other in a passionate dance. Izaya fisted his hands in Shizuo's hair, trying to get as close as possible to the heated man before him. Pulling away for air briefly they panted. Their eyes glazed over in lust for one another.

They didn't know who moved first, but then again, what does it matter? Arms grasped at each other as they backed into an alley, never stopping the heated touches. "S-Shizu…hnnngh~ t-take it off…please" Izaya urged desperately, tugging at Shizuo's clothing. The sound of the louse begging… Shizuo never thought he would hear it, and it only made the tightness in his pants worsen as he smirked.

"Well I-zay-ya-kun~" he said, adding emphasis to each syllable huskily. "why don't you help me take them off if you're that needy~" Izaya shuddered at such an erotic tone.

Without second thoughts Izaya trailed his hands up Shizuo's chest, mapping out his (very muscular) body. He then brought his hands down to Shizuo's sides, stroking them with ghost-like touches making the larger man quiver. He kissed one of his toned abs, latching onto a pert nipple, licking and at it until it was a bright red hue. He did the same to the other feeling Shizuo's breath hitch as he played with his body teasingly slow. He dragged his hand lower, rubbing at Shizuo's hard on through his pants. "ne shizu-chan~ do you want me to take these off~?" he asked, grinning with that tipsy smile that made Shizuo's heart flutter. Of course Shizuo wouldn't show how much he wanted it. No way… that meant giving in.

"No ones stopping you, your voice always pisses me off, why not put your mouth to better use?" Shizuo replied smugly, trying to cover up for the light blush that was starting to dust his face. Izaya smirked, getting down on his knees on the dirty floor and pushing Shizuo against the cold brick wall. He pulled the zipper down with his teeth, staring up at Shizuo with heated eyes, filled with want. He slowly slid his pants down and Shizuo let out a small sigh of relief at less restriction for his throbbing need. Izaya nuzzled Shizuo through his boxers with a coy smile before pulling the boxers down as well, finally freeing Shizuo's cock to the cool night air. Shizuo shivered at the cool air on his heated flesh. Izaya's eyes widened slightly before they hooded over with even more lust.

"Shizu-chan is very well endowed~" he practically purred, trailing one of his fingers up the length, watching the cock twitch at the feeling. He blew air on it, watching Shizuo gasp and bring his hands up to rest in his hair instinctually. Izaya grinned through the blurriness, his lips meeting the red tip of the overly eager member in a light kiss. Shizuo impatiently pushed Izaya's head down, longing for the heat he knew Izaya could give him. Izaya was happy to oblige, grasping the member and slowly stroking it as Shizuo's face turned red. He stopped stroking for a second making Shizuo groan.

"Why the hell did you sto-ahhh !" before Shizuo could even finish his sentence Izaya had taken the length into his mouth. Licking and sucking on it greedily as if it were a treat. He moaned around it, bobbing his head up and down. A dark blush covering his face as he worked. He moaned softly as he pulled away, licking up the side of his shaft up to the tip, savoring the taste.

"Shizu-chan~ I want it please~" Izaya begged, mouth swollen and bruised from all the work. Izaya started pumping Shizuo, panting. "mmmnh~ I want your cum Shizu-chan~ please cum for me~

Shizuo bit his lip and and moaned. "F-fuck… I-Izaya..haa…" The feeling of Izaya's hands and that wanton expression was too much. Shizuo couldn't take it anymore and came all over Izaya's face.

Izaya mewled happily, his tongue snaking out to lick some of Shizuo's cum off his upper lip. "mmm~ thank you Shizu~" Shizuo thought to himself that he'd never seen something sexier. Izaya cleaned his fingers and gave a satisfied smile, nuzzling into Shizuo's cock again. Shizuo blushed and patted Izaya's hair only to feel air. He looked down and realized Izaya was asleep, knocked out cold.

Normally, Shizuo would have just left him there… but today wasn't a normal day now was it? Seeing that innocent, peaceful face on a normally devious creature made Shizuo's heart carefully took the unconscious raven into his arms, carrying him bridal-style. Shizuo thanked the lord it was so dark outside so no one could see them. When they got back to Shizuo's apartment, he gently laid Izaya down on his bed. He smiled softly, wiping away some of the hair that fell on his face.

"Good night… Izaya-kun" and with that he shut the door. He could sleep on the couch tonight, and besides, who knows what Izaya will think when he wakes up in the morning, Shizuo thought wickedly. One thing was for sure… He probably would never drink again.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THE END WOO. Well sort of. If I get… 5 reviews…ill right the next morning chapter and if I do~ I promise they will go all the way :DDDDD so please review! I would really love to know how I did on this!


	2. The morning after

**Author Note:** Im going to apologize now and say holy shit what a late second chapter.. I wrote the first about… last year when I was still in 8th grade. So forgive me if this chapter seems to not exactly match up with the first. And attention attention as I typed this I realized it was taking on a more darker and I guess just more.. gah how do I word this.. a more in depth story. Before this was just PWP but I felt as I was writing it, it just seemed so bland to me. So I don't know how long this story will really be.. maybe 3-4 chapters who knows. Thank you all for your support and favoriting it and reviewing even after I abandoned this! I hope this new advancement on the story will make up for it! or not. Whatever. XD THANK YOU EVERYONE! 3

**The morning after…**

Morning light flooded into the bedroom as Izaya's eyes fluttered open, only to close right away at the pounding in his head. "Fuck…" he groaned, rubbing the back of his skull wearily. As the sleep ebbed away from his eyes he looked around the bedroom only to come to a shocking realization… this wasn't his bed.. "shit shit shit…!" Izaya said under his breath in a slight panic. He looked down and side in relief knowing his pants were still on. He slowly got out of the bed and peeked out of the bedroom door. 'No pain in my ass either… just what happened last night?' he thought. He made his way into the living room looking around curiously, until he spotted a figure lying on the couch sleeping soundly. To his obvious surprise, it was Shizuo. His eyes widened in horror. His mind was covered in fog, he remembered leaving the club and then nothing. A blank slate. So how in the _HELL_ did he end up here of all places?

Izaya over looked himself for a chance of any bruises or scars and was even more stumped to find there wasn't a trace of any. He needed to get to the bottom of this and fast. With a sneer on his face he flicked out his switchblade and walked over to Shizuo quietly, leaning down slowly right next to his ear- "WAKEY WAKEY SHIZU-CHAAAAAAN~~~" he shouted in a girlish shriek.

"FUCK!" Shizuo's eyes snapped open as he fell off the couch with a loud groan. "WHAT THE FUCK IZAYA!" he growled menacingly.

"Oh how nice of you to join me on this pleasant morning Shizu-chan~ as much as I would love to bother you some more I have to inquire as to _why _I am in your…humble~ little abode~" The switch blade was out with a flash and right against Shizuo's neck before he could even speak. As he glanced up at Izaya he noticed the panic and annoyance in his crimson eyes. A small smirk crept onto Shizuo's face as he made the connection. _'He doesn't remember last night…'_

Shizuo craned his neck to the side and locked his eyes with Izaya's. "hmm~ are you telling me you don't remember when you practically _forced_ yourself onto me in a drunken stupor Izaya~?" Shizuo's voice took on a more playful tone. Finally for once he had the upper hand against this damn flea! Fuck yes was he going to make him remember ever embarrassing detail! The knife on his neck dug in a little deeper as Izaya glared down at him heatedly, a flicker of worry appearing only egging Shizuo on. "You started humping me like a little whore you know..~ I even remember you started talking about how you didn't really hate me. Something along the lines of "Shizu-chan is my favorite and I like Shizu-chan~" "even going as far as to say you don't hate me at all~"

Izaya stood there rigid.. whether from panic or shock or anger Shizuo didn't know. "how far…" Izaya choked the words out as if he was struggling to speak. "how far did we go…" Izaya looked at the floor his hair covering his eyes as his lithe form shook slightly.

Shizuo noticed the change in behavior as he looked at the raven, his tone losing its Cheeky sarcasm as tried to get a sight of the ravens eyes. He coughed slightly as if to hide his embarrassment. "You gave me a blowjob and then you passed out.. that's why I brought you hear" Shizuo was starting to feel awkward with the now quiet raven practically sitting on top of him with the knife loosely held in his bony grip.

Izaya's mind was swimming with thoughts and feelings he couldn't even describe. There was a sickening pit in his stomach as he dropped the knife_. 'I…I did that.. while drunk.. with the protozoan.. with Shizu-chan that im supposed to hate…how could my drunken mind convey words like "I like shizu-chan" without it being true..'_ He looked down at his hands as if wondering if they had the answer to the doubt about his sense of self. _'how could…that be…I like…shizu-chan? If I did…would it matter.. he called me a whore didn't he..' _A small little laugh bubbled up from Izayas still form, making Shizuo glance up in question. "Ah….haha…ahaha… interesting…how.. very interesting ne…" A quirky smile played on his lips as he stood up taking his knife with him. _'I have to leave, I have to think.. these pitiful feelings what…are they… what does he mean to me.." _Without a glance back Izaya walked past Shizuo and briskly out the door.

"Shizu-chan… what have you done to me?"

Review for a pitiful writer? ;w;?


	3. A change for the worst

**Author Note:** Well im in a freaking writers mood. You know what that means? STORY UPDATES EVERYBODY! Now whether that means porn or deep angst or in between your guess is as good as mine~! I free write I don't plan things out which is probably why half the things I write are random and don't coordinate with eachother well~! But I digress, it's fun and I like it and I hope you guys like it too! As always review I love hearing from you guys! I go to school and check my email to find reviews in my inbox and I cant help but smile in the middle of class like an idiot thank you all so much ^_^ now on with the story forgive my drivel!

**A turn for the worst**

Weeks.. it had been weeks sense Shizuo saw Izaya after that incident. All he could remember as he laid down in bed night after night was Izaya. Izaya with his twisted smirk, flinging knives at him and cat calling to him, goading him and making him more of a beast. Other nights filled with passion.. the scenes of Izaya's tight warm mouth enclosed around his shaft sending him spiraling into lust and desire. But most recently his mind was filled with the last time he saw Izaya. His form shuddering and cold, that slightly twisted laugh that almost felt…sad… Shizuo ran a hand through his hair as he sighed deeply, inhaling the bitter sweet smoke of a cigarette as his mind drifted back to those vermillion eyes. Perhaps Shizuo's mind couldn't perceive what Izaya was feeling at that time. All he knew was that the air in Ikebukuro had lost its stink since Izaya left. That he felt a sharp tug in his chest at the thought that maybe.. the words he said that morning weren't what Izaya needed to hear. He could recall that night in the alley as if he were watching a movie in his head. He remembered how gently he carried him home… how his heart fluttered as he watched him sleep…"tch…" Shizuo muttered. _'why do I even care? Its not like I miss him I hate him right…right? But…I did bring him home.. I didn't kill him…fuck what the hell is wrong with me!?'_ "FUCK IZAYA WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?" Shizuo shouted out loud, his fist connecting with a brick wall making the pedestrians of Ikebukuro scatter away in fear. "I'll kill him.. he must have poisoned me somehow.. slipped me something! That devious flea must have drugged me to get me thinking like this! ILL KILL HIM! ILL KILL HIM DEAD!" Shizuo cracked his knuckles as he started making his way to Shinjuku.

Meanwhile in Shinjuku

Izaya spun listlessly in his swivel chair, his nails tapping against the wooden desk whenever they brushed past it. This had been going on for days on end. His appetite had shut down and his body was jittery and on edge from late nights and no sleep. His once gleaming white apartment slowly grew dingy and crumbled up pieces of paper littered the floor. "emotions.." Izaya muttered. "what _is _an emotion?" "Scientifically speaking its A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes.. it's a feeling.." Izaya recited this as if he were reading it from a book and not from his own mind. "but these emotions vary ne.. hmmhmm~" he hummed in a childlike manner. "emotions of joy and happiness~ sorrow and regret~ hatred, envy, reverence…love.." "it goes on and on and on and ON!" his voice escalated as he spoke, his brain was on over drive from hours upon hours of thinking on end. His lips curled into a tight smile. "but of course.. these emotions can lead some people to mental illnesses… insanity.. paranoia.. pure and utter CHAOS~" He let out a small giggle. "That's the fun part, that's the fun part! Losing your mind as you spiral downward into obliviousness because of such pitiful and useless things!" "ah but I guess I could say that's why I love humans! Their reactions are truly linked to their emotions!" Izaya threw his hands to the sides and looked up at the ceiling as he continued his speech as if talking to a higher being. "I LOVE HUMANS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!" He cackled. "I want them to love me back ne.. all of them.. all of them.." His voice became a whisper as his moment of insanity died down to a more solemn feeling. "but alas.." He looked at his hands. "I am no more than a human too…weeks and weeks of useless research on these damn emotions. And not one hint has been given to why I feel like this..aha…ahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" A chorus of hysteric giggling dispersed from his cracked lips. "maybe im diseased! Shizu-chan isn't human ne! and I did something so filthy with him I might be contaminated! Yes that's it that's it of course theirs nothing wrong with me its him! ITS ALWAYS HIM! SHIZU-CHAN IS A MONSTER HES INHUMAN!" Izaya's eyes were crazed as he screamed into his empty apartment. "HAHA-! WHO KNOWS WHO KNOWS MAYBE IM TURNING INTO A MONSTER! THESE FEELINGS I HAVE INSIDE ME WHAT COULD THEY POSSIBLY MEAN BESIDES IM DISEASED NE!?" Tears began to form in his eyes as his state of mental hysteria continued to escalate beyond reason. "I HAVE TO KILL THEM! I..I HAVE TO KILL THEM AT ITS SOURCE. THE FIRST RAT TO CREATE THE PLAGUE ILL KILL SHIZU-CHAN! ILL END HIM ILL END HIM!" "AHAHA-….ha…" The laughter died with a start. "shizu-chan~ ill end us both ne~ ill be the death of you and you the death of me~ so poetic this injustice..ah…" Izaya held onto his heart where he felt a sting. "I definitely need to kill him" He picked up his long neglected fur coat and slipped it on over his now scrawny and thin body, slipping out the door and to the city of Ikebukuro.

**Whoooooa that shit got dark?! I don't really know where this all came from honestly but I really like writing izaya as you can tell by the length of his part of this chapter compared to shizuo's. I hope you enjoyed! Know that from the bottom of my heart I have no clue what the hell is gonna happen next! 8D review for me my lovelies?**


	4. What have we become?

**Author note: **I wrote this during english and study hall and I must say I really like it~! at this point I actually think I have an idea about how I want this story to go along. But then again I make no promises because I really don't know what in the hell I am doing. Im thinking this will have a happy ending then no? Perhaps 2-3 more chapters~? Who knows~!

What have we become?

A storm was brewing in Ikebukuro. Two forces were growing closer each moment, the air having a thick tension worse than the regular smoggy air of the busy city. Shizuo was dead set on ending Izaya once and for all, but that was a normal occurrence wasn't it? But this was different. For as molten gold met red, Shizuo was shocked at the informant's appearance. His eyes, once a bright ruby red, were dim and dreary; the purple bags under his eyes gave evidence of his sleepless nights. He was always skinny, Shizuo knew this, but his jacket seemed just a bit bigger and his shirt hung loosely to his form; not eating. His lips were cracked as his smile showed someone who was slowly slipping away from sanity and reason. That glittering knife was out again as Izaya pointed it at Shizuo with a shaky hand. A tiny giggle pointed his way as those dim eyes flickered with mirth. Shizuo clenched his fists. This wasn't Izaya… at least not the Izaya he knew. This man before him was losing it. This man was intent on murder and destruction; you could see it in his eyes. This man… was lost.. and the pit in Shizuo's chest tightened as he realized it that he was the cause. "Flea….what….what the hell happened to you..?" Shizuos beastly anger began to dissipate as he stared at what Izaya had become. Izaya's grin only grew in length making Shizuo wonder if his mouth would split in two.

"Ahaha~ why Shizu-chan that's really the first thing you're going to say to me after such a long depart~? Why am I not surprised~ I mean words most definitely aren't a monster's specialty~" He let out a condescending laugh. "Come on Shizu-chan~" He opened his arms. "Why don't you give me a biiiiiiiig hug~!" He cackled gleefully as he walked closer to the blonde, his steps slightly off course as he teetered om the brink of self-induced exhaustion. "Come on Shizu-chan~ we've done worse than _hug_ haven't we~? Hug me so tight we suffocate and die together!" "it would be so pretty wouldn't it?" He said in an almost dream-like fashion, his slender hand gently reaching out to touch Shizuo's cheek. Shizuo stood their rigid as the icy hand softly caressed his cheek. "So beautiful.." Shizuo wasn't sure what to do anymore. Beating the flea in this state was just something he simply could do.. but he had to do something didn't he? "ne ne…Shizu-chan…what are emotions?" The question made Shizuo blink as he tried to understand what exactly Izaya was asking.

"Emotions…? They're what people feel? Like..being happy?" Shizuo spoke his words carefully, Izaya was clearly unstable and he had no idea what could set him off.

"And what is being happy to you Shizu-chan?" Izaya inquired. "what is being sad? Being jealous? Being angry? Being…in love?" Izaya locked his eyes with Shizuo's, his red irises filled with confusion and grief. "I don't know…Shizu-chan…I don't know..I…don't know something ahaaha…" "how could a god like me not even be able to comprehend his own sense of self?" "why does my chest tighten? Am I sick?" The hand on Shizuo's cheek drifted lower to clutch at his shirt. "What am I Shizu-chan? Who am i? Can I really be above humans…hell even _just _a human if I don't know who I am and what I am feeling?" The grip on his shirt tightened as Izaya's voice cracked. "haha…ha.. Theirs so much.. about this place… about these people.. that I may never understand… Theirs always something new Shizu-chan! That's why I love humans ne!? and they're supposed to love me back right!? But..ha…how can they love me..? how can I love them… if I don't even know myself enough to love my own being..?"

"Izaya…" By the end of Izaya's speech Shizuo truly was at a loss for words. 'Did he always think like this? So hard on himself?' 'Did one night…one night with me really.. cause all of this?' "Izaya I… what do you want me to…-"

A light sob was barely heard as Shizuo felt a damp wetness on his shirt. "Shizu-chan…what did you do to me ne? Am I a monster like you now? Did you taint me that night?" He muffled another small sob as he gazed up at Shizuo with a sad smile.

'What do I do what do I fucking do!?' 'but..hes..hes really crying..' "Izaya…" Shizuo said his name for the third time as instinct took over making him gently wrap his strong arms around the broken down raven. 'Hes so cold.. this flea..' Shizuo thought to himself as he tightened his grip on Izaya, trying to send his own body warmth to the small shivering form.

Izaya's body stiffened as he felt the warm embrace envelope him and pull him closer. "Shi…zu…?" Izaya whispered, his tears subsiding. "what do you think you're doing?" Izaya said, his tone having a sharp point of defense as he tried to squirm away weakly. "I hate you brute let go!" His voice became more desperate as the need to escape became more apparent. Shizuo's radiating body heat thrummed through him and went straight to his rapidly beating heart. "let go..please…" He said weakly.

"Shut up flea.." Shizuo's words held no malice as he spoke in a soothing and lulling tone. He gently tilted Izaya's chin upwards. The roles that night in Ikebukuro had been switched that night as Shizuo captured Izaya's dry lips in a sweet kiss. This time, he would be the one to corner Izaya based on his own desires. This time he would say the right words.

From now on you are all my lovelies because I say so. So please review my lovelies if it pleases you~! I hope you enjoyed this newest chapter I know I enjoyed writing it ^O^


	5. Falling

**Author Note: **Hey hey hey everyoooone~ 3 so this chapter to me at least is sub-par at besssst its pretty short too~ however I already have the next chapter written up, I just have to type it out and it's a lot longer, or at least it looks like it is on paper ^^" and I think its pretty good~ Next Chapter: Poison. Ohhhhh yeeeeahhhh. P.S. Im so lost at how long this story will go on.. but that's what I always say… ANYWAYS ON WITH THE STORY~!

Falling

Warmth… an electric pulse of warmth and the faint taste of cigarette smoke flowed through Izaya as his eyes snapped open in shock. Again, the familiar feeling of those lips, making him remember that night from over 2 weeks ago he tried desperately to forget. Again, he felt his heart beat faster at the sickening pace he spent weeks analyzing. It made him woozy, weak in the knees as everyone and everything was just the sweet scent and original taste of Shizuo. 'Stop, stop stop!' Izaya screamed in his head. He was becoming trapped. Enslaved by the intoxicating warmth of Shizuo's kiss. 'This feeling… Shizu-chan… please..' As Shizuo continued and persisted, the kneading of soft lips against his own began to move in synch. Shizuo's heart gave a delighted flip as Izaya began to kiss back. His ruby red eyes were closed shut as a small tear fell down his cheek. His small hands gripped at his shirt as if pulling him closer. Their they stood in the middle of the empty street, lip locked in silence except for the soft pants of their breathing in the cool night air.

'This is it… that… feeling that was gone when Izaya left..' Shizuo thought to himself as he held Izaya tight.

Izaya's own thoughts were scattered, but albeit the same in the end as their bodies pressed tightly together in a perfect fit. 'Shizu-chan.. you give me this feeling…only you.. why…? This cant continue…hes a monster…' He tried to convince himself this as Shizuo slipped his tongue inside, eliciting a small moan from the smaller male. The kiss only grew in passion, desperation forgotten as their kisses became long and slow. Their bodies to an outside, it would seem, were entangled in an unbreakable embrace.

While Shizuo's heart opened up and blossomed to the thrilling feeling beating through his chest, Izaya's heart was only in turmoil as his rational mind tried to break away. 'It's the brute! For god's sake Izaya this is Shizu-chan! I'm just sick that's all!' His body began to tense again making Shizuo peek his eyes open. His soft mocha orbs filled with gentleness and dare Izaya say "love". His warm calloused hands from hard work as a debt collector drew small comforting circles along his hips and his waist making Izaya melt. Izaya's body went from lax to tense and back again as his heart and mind battled eachother making everything whirl around. 'Im….falling..' "Shizu-chan…catch me.." He whispered those last words as his vision gave out and everything went dark.

It was the second time that Orihara Izaya had passed out in Heiwajima Shizuo's arms.

DOUBLE MEANINGS HUEHUEHUEHUEH. Anyways I hope you enjoyed this crappy small chappie :/ I have come to the realization that I have a huge problem with run on sentences… my English teacher would be ashamed~ /3 next chapter up soon guys! Thanks for reading~!


	6. Poison

**Author note: **And im baaack~ with this latest chapter that I wrote in my foods class that is awfully dull. I hope this one makes up for the terribly short last chapter. Also I do read the comments and is everyone happy? I got izaya rested and fed juuuust like you wanted ;D XD anyways if you do have any suggestions or anything I can improve on feel free to tell me. I take all criticisms, except for punctuation I aint even gonna bother I know its tragic. ON WITH THE STORY

Poison

Izaya groaned softly as he held his head, his vision swam slightly as he blinked up at the plain ceiling above him. He sighed to himself and curled back up with the sheets, if he thought about it, he hadn't rested like this in awhile. His eyelids fluttered closed again as he snuggled into the warm figure next to him. Wait….what!?

Izaya's eyes snapped open as he jolted up in bed. "Mornin' flea.." Shizuo said rather casually for a situation such as this. He raised his arms above his head, stretching out and yawning before glancing back at the shell-shocked raven haired male. "I'm makin' breakfast.. come out whenever I guess but you better eat it scrawny ass flea…" Shizuo said gruffly before walking out of the bedroom and closing the door behind him.

"…." Izaya sat up in bed for a moment with a blank expression on his face before *Smack* he connected his palm with his cheek. "I'm dreaming I must be dreaming!" He pinched over his arms and smooshed his face but to his dismay the scenery never changed. He was wide awake… in Heiwajima Shizuo's house…. In his bed….again. "No! no! no! no! no!" Izaya held his head as visions of the kiss flooded his mind. The scent of Shizuo on the sheets only making it worse, he could practically taste those bittersweet lips that had captured his own again. "This isn't right! This is a mistake dammit! I wasn't supposed to end up here again!" He stirred in the sheets as he continued to speak to himself allowed. "I…ahaha…this place… is poison.." Izaya hissed to himself as memory brought him back to the first time he woke up in this house. '_You started humping me like a whore you know..~'_ A whore…just a whore… "He's poison! His very being tainted and filthy!" Izaya's eyes grew sharp and cold against he tried to focus on the hatred he knew he harbored for the blonde. He threw the sheets to the side as he got out of bed. His legs giving out under his weak form. '_Shit.. this is his fault…the kiss…. The kiss! It had toxins in it didn't it!?He's slowly weakening me till I die! Of course being around him is like being around a sick person~! You become sick too!' _Izaya laughed to himself, his crumbled sanity making the strange logic of why he was so confused obvious to him. "The more I touch him the worse I get! Anything involving him is toxic of course! Ahaha!" His breath caught in his throat as he looked around. But… if being around Shizuo would make him worse…his home….would be the center of the disease wouldn't it? "Shizuo….why….WHY IS EVERYTHING GOD DAMN SHIZUO!?" He screeched, smacking a lamp off the dresser table and sending it crashing to the ground, shattering into millions of glimmering pieces. "WHY!? WHY DAMMIT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Izaya started to hyperventilate as his heart and mind closed in on him at an accelerated speed.

"IZAYA!" Shizuo crashed into the room upon hearing the shattering of the lamp. Their he saw Izaya crumpled on the floor, wheezing and lurching forward, vomiting up nothing but his own bodily acids. Shizuo's expression became worried and grim as he kneeled down besides the pained informant. Picking him up in his arms like he was a small kitten and hugging him close. "Izaya…its ok…its ok just breathe and calm down.." He soothingly murmured as he rubbed his back. Izaya's frail body went limp at the fee of comforting warmth. His wheezing subsided and slowly died down to a soft whimper as his heart finally calmed.

"No please… you'll kill me.." Izaya whispered… his voice sounding pathetic and weak as he tried to push away, his body protested against him greatly as it only moved closer to that brilliant warmth.

"Shhh… I won't hurt you Izaya, just breathe alright? I'm going to get you some of the miso I made."

"Poison…" Izaya murmured, his voice barely audible. "Don't feed the posion to me anymore.."

Shizuo blinked and gently sat Izaya back down on the sheets of his bed. "I didn't poison the miso alright? I'll even taste it before I give you some to prove it ok?" he said reassuringly before getting up.

Izaya only shook his head and curled up. '_Of course the protozoan doesn't understand that /he's/ the poison.. not the damn soup..' _He thought to himself as his body still burned where Shizuo had touched.

"I'll be right back.." Shizuo said gently, fetching the miso he had made and putting it onto the now bare dresser table. "Idiot flea… I liked that lamp you know.." He grumbled as he looked distastefully at the broken shards.

Izaya only smiled listlessly at the broken pieces. He pointed at them and let out an airy giggly. "That's my heeeead~ it's all shattered and broken~" He purred as he rolled along the sheets. Shizuo only looked on with a worried expression. He just wanted the old Izaya back.. this one… this one was just… twisted and…sickly..

"Cmon flea just eat the miso... you're all skin and bones… how long has it been since you've eaten ah?" Izaya only squealed childishly and rolled away.

"Nooooo~! Poison! Poison!" He flailed his arms up and laughed. Shizuos eyebrow twitched. He was starting to get annoyed with the mood swingyness of the deranged flea.

"Just eat it!" He took a sip from the spoon. "See? I tried some and im fine so stop rambling on about posion!" He grunted and pushed the bowl towards Izaya.

"Shizu-chan doesn't get it~!" He snickered and again evaded Shizuo's attempt at getting him to eat. "Shizu-chan _is _the posion!" He cackled gleefully. "I'm sick because you infected me after all~" His bubbly tone didn't match the ice portrayed in his eyes. It unnerved Shizuo to no end as he sat on the bed alongside him.

"You're talkin' some crazy ass shit flea.. You need to eat." He insisted once more, cornering Izaya to the bed post and holding a spoonful of the steaming soup out.

Izaya sneered at the spoonful and promptly wacked it across the floor sending hot miso splattering onto Shizuo's face. He giggled. "Oopsies~ 3"

"….." Shizuo gently placed the bowl of miso on the dresser again before calmly turning back to face the grinning Izaya. "That's it…." A vein throbbed on his forehead as he tackled Izaya down, ripping part of the sheets and tying his hands together before sitting him in his lap with an irritated smile. "You're gonna eat the god damn food flea!" Shizuo wrapped his arms around the squirming male and grabbed the bowl once again with a victorious smile. Shizuo simmered down as he looked at the flailing informant who kept screeching the same words over and over.

"Poison! Poison! Poison!" He shouted as he struggled against Shizuo. Shizuo in turn, only sighed and gently tilted Izaya's head up, bringing the bowl to his parched and chapped lips and pouring a small amount of liquid inside the parted lips. Izaya sputtered and kicked his legs, the miso dribbling out of the corners of his mouth as he tried to spit it out.

"Oh no you don't!" Shizui leaned forward and closed his lips over Izaya's, making it impossible for him to spit it out. Izaya stilled at the feel of the lips, the hot miso finally trickling down his throat as he gulped it down while caught off guard.

'_Poison…' _Izaya thought weakly as he stopped his protesting, shivering as Shizuo's tongue licked along the roof of his mouth. The blonde smiled down at him and took a mouthful of soup before before capturing Izaya's lips and continuing the procedure, finding it the most effective way to feed him. He continued this method until the soup was all gone. His tongue, now, just lazily licking at the others. '_Poison, poison, poison, poison..' _Izaya's mind repeated like a mantra, trying to alert Izaya to his own actions. Izaya only leaned in closer as he gave consent to what his body longed for. '_Poison huh…? Haha….Shizu-chan.. if you kill me this way… I don't think it would be the worst death…' _Izaya thought to himself faintly as his back was gently pressed down into the bed. His eyes slipped closed as his senses were enraptured by Shizuo and Shizuo alone. Like a drug he always fell.

'_Shizu-chan…you're truly my poison..'_

Ffffff I forgot to italicize thoughts in the last chapter. Oh well derp. WELL THIS WAS FUN TO WRITE MY FRIENDS~! I think its turning out the way I wanted it to ahaha. I think. ._. Eventually there will be more smut. I cannot determine when though. But for now just enjoy the steamy kisses XD Review if you wish my lovelies, look forward to the next chapter~!


	7. Medicine

**Author Note: **So my school recently gave laptops out to all the freshman for some silly reason but thanks to that ive been typing up chapters during study hall. So if im not blocked with a ridiculous amount of homework their should be a steady flow of new chapters coming in. I will also be working on the second chapter of Enraptured so check that out if you like :D lastly I dunno if this chapter seems a bit weak forgive me. I was hal paying attention to class and half writing this so their might be errors. But enough of that enjoy and on with the story ^o^

Medicine

"Mnnph...S-Shi-mmng..." Izaya whimpered softly against the brute's lips. The soft silky sheets sending shivers down his spine as his guard lowered more and more. A soft rumble reverberated through Shizuo's chest as Izaya continued to respond to him eagerly.

"Mmn...Izaya.." Shizuo groaned softly as his teeth gave a soft nip to his plump and rose colored lips. Izaya let out a quiet moan and looked up at Shizuo with glazed over eyes.

"S-Shizuo..." Izaya gasped softly_. 'im drowning..it's so hot...Shizu-chan you beast...'_ Shizuo felt his heart speed up as he looked at the pale raven's flushed features. A twinge of desire spread through his body as he gently moved his mouth down to the flawless skin of his neck.

"Izaya..." He softly licked up the side of the flawless column of skin, tasting a bit of salty sweat and the taste of lust. Izaya's body shuddered at the feel of the slick tongue on him and he let out a throaty moan. His vermillion orbs filled with lust but a nagging fear of it going too far.

"S-Shizuo! s-st-aaahh!" His words were cut short as Shizuo bit into the skin of his neck, sucking on it hungrily until pale white turned a dark purple. Izaya's eyes brimmed with tears as a pang of arousal mixed with pure fear and pain was felt. "S-Shizu-chan s-stop..." He whimpered. At the sound of soft crying Shizuo released his hold and looked down at Izaya, gently stroking his hair.

"It's ok...Im sorry I got carried away.." He murmured bashfully. Izaya stared at him with a slightly angered expression as he turned his head away.

"Got carried away huh...is my body that appetizing to you Shizuo? Is it fun for you to toy with my body when im down and weak? haha... it's just like you did that one night ne? You didn't try to talk sense into me you just let me throw myself at you…just like a whore like you said..hahah! how cruel Shizu…you...you're a monster you know that..?" Izaya murmured spitefully. "Doing this to me..making my mind go crazy...ha...Shizu-chan it's all your fault you know? Everything is always your damn fault.. You're the reason nothing ever goes my way you know! You're always in my fucking way!" He grit his teeth as tears beaded at the corner of his eyes again. "I hate you Shizu-chan i...i-i hate you.." His voice lowered. "And dont you hate me too? What the fuck is happening Shizuo? Huh? What is happening dammit!" He held his head and whimpered. "You hate me..and I hate you.. So why did you take me home...that night...why did you bring me home? Why am I here now? You can't honestly tell me that you care." He laughed softly and wiped at his eyes. "A monster like you having such a thing as emotions of romance.. let alone for me...impossible...completely impossible right?" Izaya let out another weak sounding laugh that even to his own ears, held no amusement. "So tell me Shizuo...why? Is this some type of sick game to mess with me? Because I don't know something!? TELL ME WHY YOU DID THIS TO ME DAMMIT! YOU POISONOUS MONSTER!" Izaya cried out as he clung to him tightly, crying loudly. "WHY WHY WHY!" He sobbed, beating at his chest weakly.

Shizuo only held Izaya tighter with a solemn expression on his face, his hands rubbing at his back and swallowing thickly as he comforted him like usual. How many times had he done this? He wondered. Comforting Izaya so silently.. if only he could do more.. he just wished he knew the words to say...

As Izaya's tears slowed down to soft sniffling Shizuo tilted his chin upwards and wipes at the teary eyes with his thumbs. "Izaya...you want to know..? Why i brought you home..why I've been holding you close and kissing you..?" He let out a soft chuckle."To be completely honest I...I dont know...why I feel like I have to be there for you I guess I just..." He let out a soft sigh. "Izaya I care about you.. dont ask me how I could care about someone as rotten as you but.. I do and...I want to be the one to hold you close when you cry.. and seeing you like this...I just...want to make you better..." Izaya looked at Shizuo skeptically, opening his mouth to say something but he was cut off. "Just be quiet for a sec flea...for fucks sake…" He let out another long sigh. Letting your feelings out was difficult huh? "If...if you called me your poison...and I caused this..then I...I want to also be your medicine.." Shizuo cupped Izaya's tear stained cheeks. "You hear me Izaya..? I'm going to fix this...everything...ill be the one to cure you of this insanity.." Shizuo's arms wrapped snuggly around Izaya's forms as he continued to whisper those sweet words that slowly made Izaya drift into the dream realm.


	8. Just Maybe

**Author Note: **So it took me forever to update again. Im soooo sorry guys ive been busy and exams are coming up for me soon! But I wanted to write another chapter for you all just so you know Im still working on this! I know its short and kinda crappy. But my brain is half dead and im also just trying to finally get there relationship established. I prefer slow gradual romances and right now I don't think im doing well buuuut oh well. I enjoy writing it and I hope you like reading it as well!

**Chipped**

Izaya let out a soft sigh as he awoke in the brute's arms for the third time in a row. Just how weak was he to keep passing out...he really was a mess... Izaya squirmed slightly trying to get away from the clutches of the golden haired beast, only to be pulled into tighter more air-constricting hug. "S-Shizu-chan...c-cant...breathe" He whined slightly as hot breathes of air puffed against his neck sending shivers down his spine. Shizuo let out an indignant snore and only nuzzled into the crook of Izaya's neck. Izaya's skin flushed as a soft murmur of his name escaped from Shizuo's lips. Waking up like this...wasn't so bad...in a way its...kind of nice... Izaya thought this absently as Shizuos radiating warmth lulled him into relaxation. The bags underneath his eyes had started to disappear. But I guess all the sleep he'd been getting could be the cause of that. Never the less, Izaya was looking much better, and it was all thanks to that stupid protozoan. Izaya glanced up at the sleeping face, watching the small stream of sunlight wash over him...he looked...like an angel. Izaya laughed softly at the irony but never took his face away from such a serene expression. "If...if you called me your poison...and I caused this..then I...I want to also be your medicine.." "You hear me Izaya..? I'm going to fix this...everything...ill be the one to cure you of this insanity.." Izaya flushed at the memory, reaching a hand out to gently touch his face. Did he honestly think he could "fix" Izaya? Such an outlandish saying truly could only come from a brute like Shizu-chan it would seem. But...in a way...Izaya didn't care.. "Shizu-chan...wake up already you fat oaf.." A small grumble was his only reply, so Izaya switched his tactics, tickling his sides. Was it odd to be in such a playful mood around someone who normally tries to kill you? Yes. It is. But then again things were always odd when it came to Izaya.. and he thought maybe he deserved a little fun. "Shiiiiizuuuu-chaaaan~! I said wake up!" His hand snaked to his waist where he started tickling mercilessly. A small noise bubbled up from Shizuo, then another, and another, until Shizuo started laughing and squirming on the bed. His sleepy golden eyes opening up and gasping with laughter.

"T-The hell hahaha! f-flea stop-!" He groaned

"I didn't take you for the ticklish type Shizu-chan~! Well I guess everything is unexpected these days" "Anyways" He stopped his hands. "I was just trying to wake you~! You've been holding onto me so tight I couldn't breathe imbecile. Get up already." He huffed, wondering to himself how he could be so perky with everything that's happened. Maybe he had some personality disorder? Meh~ He'd think about it later.

"Ah...?" Shizuo removed his hands from fitting snuggly around Izaya, though he seemed hesitant to do so, lingering there for a bit before sitting up. He ran a hand through his golden locks and looked down at the pale raven, smiling a bit seeing that he looked a bit better, still looked like shit...but...better shit in protozoan logic. "Guess you're right...er...how are you feeling flea?" He said this albeit a bit awkwardly, not really sure if he should press the subject of Izaya's sanity level. But as much as he hated to admit it, he missed the old flea that spent the days pissing him off. He shifted off the bed and stood up, opening the curtains sending light pouring into the open room. Izaya hissed slightly and turned away, not used to the light of day for weeks.

"I feel just fine~" Izaya waved it off, as much as he appreciated Shizuo's concern, did he honestly think he was going to start pouring his feelings out like some broken-hearted school girl? Well...in a way he had but...no again dammit!

"Flea..." Shizuo growled in warning. "You and I both know you're not fine, but pretend then"

Izaya's eyes narrowed into slits. "Look Shizu-chan, just because you've been taking care of me and all this bullshit doesn't mean you KNOW me. You know nothing." He hissed. All Shizuo did was look up with a plain expression, sitting down next to Izaya.

"I know your favorite food is ootoro, how you wore the middle school uniform and not the Raira one because you thought it looked better on you and you wanted people's attention. Not that you'd admit that. I know you secretly care about you bat-shit crazy siblings and I know you love humans because you want there love in return. ""I know you're hurt, and really fucked up right now.. and I know that you don't want me to care because it makes you have emotions and all that bullshit you talked about a few days ago." Shizuo stopped for a second and locked his eyes with Izaya. "And I know that you're scared about what's happening between us.. you don't like that you cant control it.." Izaya's chin was gently tilted upwards as golden eyes bore holes into his very soul. "Im scared too…but what I do know…" He gently placed his lips over Izaya's. "When I kiss you…It feels right…" With that Shizuo pulled away and walked out of the bedroom leaving a shocked and flushed Izaya sitting on the bed. "Come out for breakfast when ya want flea" He called over his shoulder.

So maybe he didn't know what was going on..maybe he couldn't explain his feelings at the moment…but Shizuo was right…the kisses…being held…it all felt so right.. A small, barely recognizable smil e graced Izaya's lips for the first time in weeks. His heart thumped a bit quicker as he traced the outline of his lips. Perhaps..just perhaps…he woud cooperate with Shizuo. For now at the least, until all the pieces fit back to normal. Though he was far from sane, Izaya thought just maybe, that Shizuo could put back together the chipped pieces of his heart and mind.

**Please review everyone I'd like to know I didn't complete mess up this chapter XD I'll start picking things up next chapter~! You know maybe Izaya will actually leave Shizuo's apartment for once. And yay no passing out this chapter!**


End file.
